Waking up screaming

I kid you not, I had the worst nightmare I've had in ages.

Started out with me being in some sort of tour guide group in a factory. I remember it being very boring, as in "this is a big machine" and "over here, we have a window" so I decided to look around a bit. In a room to the side, I found a baby in some boxes.

The baby was very, very fat. So I took it to the security guards booth. The security guard was a Fijian man, who looked exactly like one of the guys from Rotaract that I know. Anyway, he looks at the baby, and holds out his arms to take it, when the baby suddenly flies out of my hands and starts flying around the room.

"why don't you want to keep me?" it asks, over and over as it begins to fly faster and faster around the little security office. The guard and I took one look at each other, and ran out the door into the factory. Suddenly, the water pipes along the walls burst, and we're drenched in water as we slip and slide toward the exit.

"Caaaaita! Caaaaaita!" the guard kept wailing, the babys words kept getting louder and louder until we ran out the exit. The factory was built on a huge hill overlooking a village next to the sea. There was a long winding staircase that was cut into the hill, with wooden posts to help you keep your balance. For some reason, the guard decides to ignore the stairs and runs straight down the hill. I ended up taking the stairs.

At some point we were jumping over barbed wire fences that were about knee height (maybe to keep the baby in?) through a field of flowers. The babies voice was a faint echo, and I thought I'd made it out. Then the guard falls down, I turn to look at him, and the baby is in the field, floating over the body of the guard, who is convulsing on the ground and bleeding from the eyes.

The baby looks at me, an evil cherub with dark dark eyes and says :

"Don't you want to play with McJesus?"

At this point I woke up screaming. I mean come on, the Anti-christ is freaking scary.

Different names for the Same Thing.

Was a bit worried that this comic would make me seem bitter. But I'm not! Totally not :P

However, the discovery that I have a nemesis is the main thing that I took away from this weekend. He doesn't even realise it though...

One day there shall be a climactic battle between us, the very earth itself will tremble at the clash, and hopefully I'll survive to make a comic about it.

Man, Valentines always makes for an interesting story.

FYID

Yes, sometimes I have waaaay too much time on my hands.

Still at it

Still playing Terranigma, at the moment. It's good fun!

I've restored the world with all the happy aminals (although, sadly you lose the ability to converse with animals and plants. It's a bit depressing now, because when you try all you get is a "...") and humans have returned to the surface world.

Now Ark has to progress the human race in terms of their technology. You start out in Tibet up in the mountains, and end up travelling through the Gobi Desert (after a little quest involving zombies!) and end up in the Balkans.

Yes John, they can still be zombies if their heads come off. They are "magic zombies"

Eventually Ark runs into a princess who is the spitting image of the girl he left behind in the underworld. Weeeeird. Hopefully we find out why this is. At the moment, I kinda feel like there isn't a huge driving plot in the game, apart from let's get the world rebuilt. Which is great, I guess, but there's no urge to go and fight something.

Also, I fought the most fucking annoying boss. Her name is Bloody Mary, and I kid you not, she is a hard one. When you go up against her, your attacks will do one or two points of damage. You have to shell out for a whole bunch of magic rings if you don't want the fight to last forever, because she has 300 hit points. Also, she hits like a truck, has these magical orbs that spin around her, and will take off her face and throw it at you.

After that fight through, you get to go to America! Yeah, apparently she was keeping Christopher Columbus in her basement, and once he's free he'll teach the Spanish sailors how to get to the new world.

Yeah, so I mucked about America for a bit, met Alexander Bell and Thomas Edison (who are named Bell and Eddy in the game, but I got the referances ^_^) and then ended up exploring a cavern at the Great Lakes.

The boss in there was pretty...cool I guess. I took a screenshot!

OMG Spoiler! The Hitorodon is good and it's the starfish that are evil!

Oh yah, after that you find that Wilbur Wright was stuck in the cave! Whats up with all these historical figures getting captured by bosses?

Anyway, we shall what awaits Ark. Although, I'm sure by now that goat is wondering if he's ever going to call her back.

Rebuilding a World

Everytime I talk about old RPG's that I have played, my friend John goes "Man, you know what RPG I liked? Terranigma, did you ever play that?"

And I have to say no. Because I hadn't.

Yesterday, I decided to remedy that problem.

Terranigma was a game released in 1996 for the Super Nintendo Console, and was produced by Enix, who also made Soul Blazers and the Dragonquest and Dragon Warrior games. It's an action RPG, so while you have hit points and armor and such, you attack enemies by pressing the A button. What I found really cool though, was the amount of different attacks you get. For instance, while running, if you press the attack button Ark will charge forward. If you press it while running and jumping, you'll do a pretty fancy (for 1996) divebomb.

I haven't finished the game yet, so I can't tell you what happens later, but so far I've learned that the main guy, Ark, is a bit of an idiot. He lives in village called Crysta, in a strange underground world. One day, he opens the door that should never be opened and finds a magical box and a strange creature called Yomi.

By opening the box a curse is laid on the village, and all the villagers (including the girl who fancies you) are frozen. The Elder tells you that in order to lift the curse you must journey to 5 towers and complete the trials that await there.

It's cool though, because inside the box you find an awesome spear and set out. The box acts as your inventory, and kind of exists in a pocket universe sort of thing. In order to access your inventory, you have to jump inside the box, which contains a whole bunch of rooms. I particularly liked this little touch, as it explains the vast amount of junk that Ark carries around with him all the time.

Anyway, you finish off the 5 towers and after every one a continent on the overworld is restored. However, these continents are all barren and void of life. So the Elder, ever confident in Ark's abilities, sends him to restore life to the freaking planet.

And thats where I'm up to. I've restored the plants, the birds and the animals, and right now I'm on my way to restore Humanity.

I'm going to leave now with a little story. While exploring Eklamata, the zone where humanity sleeps, Ark was caught in an avalanche and passed out. What happened next was a bit...strange.

Oh, did I mention that Ark can talk to animals and plants?

So, with my new friend, the Obvious She-Goat, I decided to explore the little cave we were in.

Only to find the carcass of her mate. Yeah...

Then it starts to get dark. Ark's friend the goat starts to look at him differently now that she's single. One thing leads to another and...

The next morning Ark wakes up to find the goat butting against the wall of the cave. Eventually, she manages to bust through where the ice is thin, but is stopped by sheer cliff. Ark however, has a pair of handy Sharp Claws (I got's em from some demon birds, good fun!) and just leaves his friend the goat behind. Just like that!


Yeah, this game has its moments.

It's the little things, Isn't it?

I have to avert my eyes every time he "harvests" his sheep.

I Forgot a Post Title

Been supremo busy lately. With work (that I am not allowed, upon pain of ass-monkeys) to talk about, and also like...other work. Enjoy this awesome picture of a black mage in the meantime.

Also, this game might be the hardest, funniest thing I have played in ages.