Sunday, April 25, 2010

Things can kill you Awesomely 1: Ballistic Knife

So this weekend, the guys got together to have a carton, relax, and chat about important things like "what Roger Ebert said, that asshole". Wilson at some point, brought up the fact that he had a new show that he'd recently obtained, called "Deadliest Warrior".

The whole show is basically the ultimate extension of that penultimate guy question, who would kick whos ass in a fight. The show picks two different things (like a Pirate and a Knight) and pits their weapons against each other, testing the capabilities of both sides weapons and then loading their findings into a computer simulation (which is then acted out by guys dressed up in the relevant costumes :P).

It's a very manly show, I have to say. Even the "experts" on the show have a tendency to treat each episode as a dick measuring competition, and most of the time it's hilarious. Also, extremely visceral when it comes to the demonstrations.

Anyway, I like to think that our little group of red blooded males are pretty savvy when it comes to weaponry. I mean, it's kind of a guy thing to know about and debate the effectiveness of certain weapons in certain situations. Baseball bat vs Zombie, Atomic Laser vs. Robot, Lightsaber vs. Dual Lightsabers, etc etc.

So, you can imagine my surprise when we learned about this thing. This thing right here:This is the Ballistic Knife, and it will fuck you up. It's basically a knife with a detachable blade that can be ejected from the handle at speeds of up to 63 kilometers per hour. They are actually banned in the United States, and are the favored melee weapon of the Spetsnaz.

Here's why they are awesome:

Imagine you have a knife, your enemy has a gun. He's all like, "Put the knife down! Put it on the ground or I swear to god I will shoot you in the FACE!"

A grin crosses your face, you hold up the knife, put your hands in the air and in a thick Russian accent reply,
"Alright comrade, you got me..." and the Ka-KNIFE! the blade flies through the air and hits your enemy right in the fricking jugular.

As Wilson said, "That's what I call bringing a knife to a gun fight."


Spetsnaz said...

How much is this knife -euro or american dollars

Anonymous said...

these knives were shite, they wer only accurate to about 3 metres and anything over the knive has no stability and would spin or hit tail first and not entering the target enough to be fatal, they also were very unaccurate.