Umbrellas hurt, House music is alright, and Hibiscus brings out the crazies

Last night was interesting. Well, technically, last night and this morning were interesting. My friend Arjay and I went out on the town, he's trying to fix this girl you see, and it's always entertaining (and slightly painful) to watch him in action. Arjay has this weird way with women, I remember Griff and I discussing it once, and we came to the conclusion that he truly believes that his life is a Bollywood film. Complete with backup dancers and running around trees.

Anyway, Traps was closing, and this girl invites us upstairs for the afterparty. I've been upstairs at Traps a few times, but since you can't smoke up there, I avoid it like the plague. Last night though, I'm not too sure if this is a regular thing, they had a DJ playing House music. You know, unz unz unz unz, insert random sound bite here, unz unz unz unz.

At around 3, it was fuck off o'clock, so Arjay bundled the girl into a cab, gave her his last five dollar bill, and drove me home. It was a nice night, the music was still in my head, but I really wanted to just hit the hay. Mainly because I knew that I would have to be up early to go to church.

We get to my place, and I point out the new puppy that we have. His name is Maximus Prime, and he is the most retarded puppy in the world. But thats a story for another time. Arjay patted the dogs head, played with him for a bit, and then walked back to the car. I pulled out my keys to open the front door. And then we got jumped by nine fellows who were hiding in my garden.

Five of them went for Arjay, and four for me. It took a while to register in the dark, and they were so fast, the first thing I knew, there are these men pushing me to the ground and demanding my wallet.

"Give me your wallet, fuck you, give it here."

Over by the car I could hear Arjay going on about how the car was a company vehicle and such. I also made the silly decision to resist these guys.

Protip: Just give the crazy people your wallet.

One of them went for my pockets, and ripped the seams along my pant leg. Another hit me in the face with his umbrella. After about the second hit, the umbrella handle broke off, which I then grabbed and hit at the guy with his hands down my pants. He wasn't touchy-feely or anything though, which was a plus. This is also while screaming various obscenities at them and kicking. I found a shoe like, halfway down the driveway that belongs to me.

This all took place in about 2 minutes, by the end of it, they had taken the car, my phone, Arjays phone and his wallet.

Happily, the cops showed up in record time, and the car is now in impound.

So, be careful out there, Hibiscus brings out the crazies, stay safe and if possible avoid umbrellas.